give it unto HIM
give it unto HIM
I can no longer spend the days wishing that someone can change; maybe that’s just their character. the gaslight is staying and being misled that one can change; that’s the presence of love bombing, wasting time, leading me on, thinking you’ll change, feeling trapped like a bird in a cage, we can’t talk it over there’s a wall in-between, silence as a closed door, can’t keep doing this any longer-
disappearances regularly, leaving me regularly, asking what’s wrong with me, being raw with me, God waking me up at 2AM when I sleep early nightly, asking me to give unto him, I can’t make you change, and to be honest if you don’t have deep remorse unto HIM we’re just stuck in that cycle,
we just stuck in that cycle,
so I gave it unto him. on the other side of it, the Holy Spirit works for me, wonders I cannot do, it’s HE who heals all, whether or not the situation changes is free will, but HE who heals all, his holy son, only son, healing my heart, no longer broken, allowing the caged bird free,
you don’t have to be honest with me, but you have to be honest with HIM at the end of the night before you sleep.
realizing that relying on others hinders the love that I need, or the want of my needs, realizing that the flesh of desire was pulling my needs, or different kinds of fantasies.
so I give your memory and your actions in transgression towards God, and if you change you change for the better, but if you don’t change I can’t sweat you,
I can’t cry tears of frustration when you casper, I can’t get through to you the way he can, I can’t give unto you, only HE can deliver you-
of course that takes honest with HIM. that takes a butterfly’s remorse WITH HIM.
I give it to HIM, I give your memory to HIM, I give my heart’s desires for you TO HIM, and unto me the caged bird sings as it’s freed.
admitting onto him is the first step of change, and forgiveness. but then again, I can’t make you change if you don’t want to. just like you’ll be stuck in a vicious cycle if you keep wanting to. submitting onto him is the only step.
i’m on the other side of this road, though. I let God handle it, because I can no longer carry a cross that God wanted through my pain to pick up in trials and tribulations of strength to not carry: but give onto HIM, who CAN carry.
give it unto HIM, and once HE’S carrying it: he’s carrying it. let it go so you can breathe; all of it was strength training. he didn’t want you to carry it, he just wanted you to give it onto him. and if you can’t give it onto him, then ask him to lift it off of the harness of your back: your hands, and let Jesus replenish you with the love of his sacrifice for us.
give it unto HIM. you’ve been carrying the weight of the world’s crosses, when to God it’s like picking up a spec of microscopic dust or a wooden crumb.
he didn’t ask you to carry that pain, in the first place. release the harness, so you can be present and reborn into a new identity in Christ renewed in the strength of your mind/body/life/physical/spiritual.
give it unto HIM.
