forgive them, even if you don’t want to.

forgive them, because you have forgiven yourself first. I think that even through the deepest betrayals, we all make mistakes. and maybe, their greatest mistake was how they treated you. whether or not they learn to grow/heal/move on: is not on you. accepting them back into your life, buddie buddies is not something you have to allow. when you forgive someone, you forgive them for you. self-forgiveness is the deepest way past a grudge. sometimes, your back hurts from all of the ways that we carry deeply rooted resentments/grudges: which we confuse for boundaries. carrying grudges is not boundaries. healthy boundaries help you evade the next offense: and it’s necessary to drop all offenses. drop all grudges. drop all resentments. you carry the grudges because you feel as if they never learned their lesson, so you carry it to apply pressure to their healing. they won’t heal that way. and not everyone heals.

when you forgive others, it’s not an invitation back: as I said. you just release carrying the responsibility of their offense over your life. you submit all forms of retaliation. you allow yourself to heal, learn the lesson of whatever offense that causes you to have to forgive them: and move on. it doesn’t mean that it didn’t happen. it means that you allow yourself to move on with your life, so you can make space within your emotional bandwidth to be able to allow new memories: instead of holding onto shitty ones. why would you hold onto their offense, as if you are still holding onto them? when you hold onto their offense towards you, you are still holding onto the worst parts of display of their character onto you. no, doing that is not a form of keeping them in your life. or even keeping them in your memory. it doesn’t allow a manipulation tactic into forcefully forcing them to change into the healed version of themselves. the best thing for you is to forgive yourself for it having happened: not self-blame. but forgiving yourself if you ignored any red flags about them, and then make sure your side of the street is clean. then you are free. we’ve all hurt someone, or even ourselves via the consequences of our actions from either a) not knowing better at the time, or b)making bad decisions despite knowing how much of a bad decision it was (fleshly decisions). and if you want to be forgiven under the eyes of God, then you also have to forgive others: even the deepest of betrayals, lies, secrets, whatever it may be. forgive for you. so when you pray for God for forgiveness in receiving bad karma from the retribution of your actions: God will clean your side of the street knowing that you’ve forgiven in every area of your life. you don’t need to continue to hold onto their offenses. don’t uses their offenses as fuel. use the fuel of new life, having forgiven for you as your new fuel in life.