a romantic cycle from 2014

worth messages, I am a queen, and with or without whatever it maybe be I’m ok, I’m shining from within of the Lord’s graces, finding ways to remedy the past, Lord tells me what I do and don’t deserve, that gives me breaks of peace, hard to admit when it’s lack of communication, or communication in lack of due to fear, and the fear feels unreal with how big the ego is, hard to find peace when they’re digging themselves into someone else, and the way they celebrate you they celebrate some mediocre someone else because they’re easier to not have boundaries, mediocre someone else doesn’t tell you their real opinions, they don’t think like I do and you know that, try to find me in everyone because you know that you love me deep down, to find the meaning of someone else because that shit is easier, and you just got to let that shit go, or let them go, because you’re not someone to stay silent, when things feel off you feel lack of inner peace, lack of an inner me, lack of the things I love and even my beauty sleep, it feels like you trigger me into activation, awake in the middle of the night, trying to screw my head on or figure out what’s right, face my fears all along, and find the meaning and messages about how I’m worth more, how you turned into the type of karmic debt that I just couldn’t pay dues anymore, hard to find peace knowing that mine isn’t that type of answer for you, waking up and choosing violence inside like the broken record inside of me, lack of communication to be able to come back and forth, I’m not dry when it comes to me, still trying to keep a hold on me but I notice each and every time you try and do that shit, still trying to come in and out the door, you won’t learn till you really lose who cares about you, you won’t learn till I’m finally out that door and you do everything AFTER the fact that I’m finally and truly gone: irreversible.

-reflecting on past wounds and how that shit has made me accept less than I deserve because I was taught that. I end that through me at 4:17AMs and a couple of block buttons.

one day you'll read this bio when I'm a published poet author and photography author